OK I try to be positive and upbeat most of the time. If I complain I try to do it with humor. So this is a warning that this is just a real rant, vent and gripe.

A few nights ago while eating dinner I started to feel that weird feeling in my throat where I have to work to swallow my food. I made excuses for it in my head: my throat was dry, I was tired, the food was dry. Then it came time to swallow my pills. Got 4 down without a problem then started to do the good ole choke, teary eyed, feel like I’m gonna puke deal. I ended up grossing out Peanut while I spit out the pill and water with snot coming out of my nose right into my dish.

Did I take that as a sign of things to come? No, take a dip with me into the river of Denial. Later that night my muscles began to twitch, my eyelid was drooping and man I felt like I was down for the count. Next morning I could not get out of bed. It was around 11 before I did, dragging my butt and feeling like I did way back when. So I knew this was it. I had to stop everything. I had to take my Mestinon on time, every 3 hours and sit around like a slob.

You get to feeling good. You get to wanting to clean your daughter’s room. You have plans to go shopping and cook up a nice dinner. You no I wanted to work on my website, get some listings up on eBay, take Peanut to the library, go with my Mom to the doctors. But for the last 3 days I did squat. I hate it! I hate being a good for nothing, can’t even take a shower, fix a meal for Peanut, drive to the store, woman, Mom, wife, daughter, friend.

OK I’m done feeling sorry for myself, well a little. I’m still frustrated and angry though. I’ll be better soon and my optimism will be back again.

This entry was posted on Saturday, August 11th, 2007 at 10:21 pm and is filed under Blah, Blah, Blah, Health is a State of Mind. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments. You can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site. Your comments will appear immediately, but I reserve the right to delete innapropriate comments. If you would like more information about my posts please view my Privacy Policy .